


lovesick

by Shantae



Category: Fire Emblem Series, Fire Emblem: The Sacred Stones
Genre: F/F, Pining, slow burn except its like 3.5k words so not so slow burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-10
Updated: 2016-12-10
Packaged: 2018-09-07 17:49:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,720
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8810233
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shantae/pseuds/Shantae
Summary: Ever since Marisa saw Tethys she was entranced.(theme: unreachable thoughts)





	

**Author's Note:**

> im too tired to proofread this. this is me venting
> 
> this probably doesnt fit the theme at all but at this point i dont really care anymore
> 
> i didnt know what pining was until i wrote this
> 
> ALSO I took their a support , and made it better (you'll see)

She was like the sun.

When Marisa first saw her on the battlefield, fighting for the other army, she had been blinded by her radiant presence. The way she moved, danced, spoke; Marisa couldn't keep her eyes off of her. When she finally snapped out of her trance, it was because of a big, calloused hand grabbing her shoulder and turning her around.

“I don't know what the hell happened,” her boss said, speaking a bit uncomfortably as Marisa’s sword was at his throat immediately as he had touched her shoulder, “but you're fighting on the wrong side.”

Needless to say, Marisa was more than happy to switch over.

 

//

 

It was much easier to steal glances when they were on the same side.

Tethys would dance for them, giving them the energy to continue fighting. Marisa felt like she didn't even need Tethys to specifically dance for her to feel energised again; just seeing Tethys’ gracious moves was enough to get her up and going.

“Huh, you've gotten a lot better,” Gerik said once, when she saved him from a monster he hadn't seen.

“But of course,” she replied casually. “We're all getting stronger, after all.”

Gerik just nodded. He didn't have to know that she wanted to be stronger to protect someone. After all, that wasn't like her at all.

 

//

 

Talking with Tethys was harder than she thought.

She usually didn't have a lot to say, but it seemed like Tethys didn't mind, for she had enough stories to tell herself. And while Marisa loved listening to Tethys’ chattering, and liked watching her be so excited about things, she wished she had the courage to tell her about her thoughts she had. Thoughts about how beautiful Tethys was and how her dances were like an enchanting curse and how amazed Marisa was by her entire appearance and character, and how she felt something she had never felt before whenever they were together.

But she didn't. 

 

//

 

Marisa wished she had let that monster kill Gerik.

She felt something she couldn't describe whenever she saw Gerik and Tethys together. She didn't like it. She didn't like it when Tethys giggled at something Gerik said, or when Gerik casually rested a hand on Tethys’ shoulder. She didn't like it when Tethys danced for him. She'd rather go up to Gerik and ask him, “hey, would you kindly impale me with that big sword of yours,” than watch them get closer to each other, but she knew that was ridiculous so she didn't.

“Hey, Marisa!” Gerik called out one day, “Do you want to spar with me and Tethys later today?”

Marisa had walked away without a word.

 

//

 

“You're jealous,” Joshua pointed out when she had finished ranting about how she felt, after Joshua had realised something wasn't right during their sparring session. “You're jealous, because Gerik is close to Tethys, maybe even closer than you.”

Jealousy. Marisa had heard about it, but she didn't know if she had ever felt it before. She didn't care about other people being better than her, or having cooler swords than her, so she was never ‘jealous’. But she did care about Gerik seeming closer to Tethys than her, so perhaps Joshua was right.

“How do I stop being jealous,” Marisa asked, because she hated the gut-wrenching feeling that hurt more than a thousand lances hitting her at once, and watching Gerik and Tethys be so close made her lose concentration in battle, and that was bad because then she wouldn't be able to protect Tethys anymore.

Joshua chuckled, because apparently it was very funny Marisa was feeling that way. “Talk to either of them about it. Only they can help.”

“Okay. Thank you.”

“Oh, but don't get too close to Gerik, or  _ I  _ might get jealous,” he added with a wink. Joshua was very weird, but maybe that was why Marisa trusted him.

 

//

 

‘Talk to them’ had seemed so easy when Joshua told her to do it, but now that she was standing in front of an expectant Tethys it was suddenly much much harder. It was impossible.

“Are you alright…?” Tethys asked, worry evident in her eyes. Marisa didn't like that look on her. It made her feel bad.

She was trying, she really was. She knew what she had to say, she had practiced in front of a mirror a million times.  _ I don't really like it whenever I see you with Gerik. It makes me feel bad. _

But now that she was actually standing in front of Tethys it sounded whiny and ridiculous. Fuck Joshua and his bad ideas. Seeing Gerik and Tethys together was bad, but having Tethys’ concerned eyes trained on her was somehow even worse.

“Your cheeks are flushed.” Tethys pressed the back of her hand against Marisa’s forehead and she couldn't help but let her eyes flutter close. Tethys’ hand was cool. Soft.

“You're burning up,” she stated, voice soft and concerned. She removed her hand and Marisa felt a pang of disappointment.

“I'm sick,” Marisa stated. It wasn't really a lie, because she was feeling weird, and if her face was hot and her cheeks red then she must be. She ran off, not once looking back.

 

//

 

“We need to talk,” is probably the worst thing one can hear, especially when it's coming from your boss while you're hanging out with the only man you can still stand to converse with in the entire army, even if he does mention said boss a little too much for your liking.

“What's wrong?” Marisa asked pointlessly, because she could think of a thousand things that Gerik might find wrong.

Gerik’s eyes shot towards Joshua, who gave him a small wave from his position on the ground. “He can stay,” she added.

“Okay.” From the way that Gerik crossed his arms it was obvious that he was uncomfortable with either being the only one standing or Joshua being there with them, so Joshua patted on the ground next to him, motioning for Gerik to sit down. He did.

“Are you okay?” He asked, worried, after a long while of excruciating silence and awkward glances.

Joshua stifled his laughter. Marisa wanted to punch him.

She stood up, gave Gerik a simple “yes” and left. She could hear Joshua say “don't worry, she's just a little  _ crushed _ about something” and she swore that next time she saw him she'd smack that shit-eating grin off of his face.

 

//

 

She was the Crimson Flash, the scary woman feared by people all over the land. She wasn't afraid of any opponent. She had won a thousand fights, and would win a thousand more.

But when it came to talking to Tethys, or doing  _ anything _ with her, she was scared.

It was ridiculous. Marisa didn't know why she felt like that. It wasn't like she was afraid of Tethys; if anything, she wanted to be with her. But whenever she was, she was afraid to say the wrong thing.

She told Joshua this, because she didn't want to worry Gerik more and it seemed like he was spot on earlier when he said she was jealous.

“Are you really that dense…?” He had said, seemingly amused. “You don't just like Tethys, Marisa. You  _ like like _ her.”

“A double like?” It was true that she liked Tethys more than anyone, but that didn't seem to be what Joshua meant, because he was pinching the bridge of his nose, and he only did that when he was frustrated.

“It means you  _ love _ her, Marisa. You're in love. You have a crush.”

Joshua was an idiot. Marisa should've realised that when his talk-to-them plan didn't work.

Marisa? In love? What a joke.

 

//

 

Marisa was a calm and light sleeper, she didn't stir in her sleep and woke up at the softest sound, ready to defend herself. She didn't get a lot of nightmares, either. When she did, she went outside to get fresh air, calm down, remember that she was alive and safe and go back to bed, like tonight.

Except tonight she wasn't the only one outside.

“So you couldn't sleep either, hm,” Tethys’ voice rang out, hushed as to not wake the others up. For some reason, having Tethys outside with her was soothing.

Marisa shook her head, approaching her. “Bad dream.”

Tethys just nodded, and looked up to the stars. There were a lot tonight, Marisa noticed.

“Tell me… have you ever thought about being reborn?”

That was an odd question to ask, especially in the middle of the night. “Reborn?”

“You know, coming back as someone else after you die?” Tethys was still looking up at the stars, so Marisa went over to stand next to her. Her hand accidentally brushed Tethys’, and it made her feel weird, but not the bad kind of weird. “If you were reborn, what would you like to be? Perhaps a beautiful dancer like me?”

Marisa would rather look at a beautiful dancer like Tethys than be a beautiful dancer like Tethys. “I'm fine with being me. I can't imagine being anything else.” Except she wouldn't mind if being someone else would mean she could be closer both physically and emotionally to Tethys, but that too she didn't say.

For someone who always spoke her mind, she sure didn't when it came to Tethys.

Tethys finally looked over to her, and her smile made Marisa feel dizzy. “I thought that's what you'd say. Actually, I thought of lots of things, but I really can't imagine any other life. I guess that means that in spite of all the hardships we've faced, we're really happy.”

Was she? Marisa didn't know. But standing here, alone with Tethys under a blanket of stars, made her believe she was. “I suppose so…” 

“Living in this age means that we face many bad things and then worse things.” Tethys frowned, and she looked back up at the stars. Marisa had heard the stories from Tethys herself, of how she had provided for herself and her little brother when the two of them were small and all alone. Tethys was strong, stronger than Marisa, maybe even stronger than anyone in the army. It was partly why Marisa admired her so much.

“Yet… Yet we're alive, so that means we also get good things and then better things, too. In tough times, I sometimes think I'd like to be reborn in another time, but the important thing is to not give up and to live your life to the fullest.”

Tethys was strong, because despite everything she was still positive and dared to hope. And it was because of that, Marisa thought, that Tethys had been able to keep on fighting and survive. She was amazing.

“Hah… sorry.” Tethys shook her head, smiling sheepishly. “I went on a rant there. Was that weird?”

“No,” Marisa immediately said, because even though she felt weird whenever she was with Tethys or even thought of her, it wasn't Tethys who was weird. Then, after a while, “You're right.”

“I am?”

“Yes.” Marisa dared to look Tethys in her eyes, and for once didn't feel like running. “When you die… Life is over. We only get one chance. So that is why… Even if things look bad, you have to keep going. You owe yourself that.”

“Yeah… That's exactly what I meant.”

Marisa didn't know if it was the soft smile Tethys gave her, or if she wanted to prove to herself that she wasn't scared of Tethys, but somehow she got the courage to take Tethys’ hand in her own. Tethys’ hand was warm and soft, and it lightly squeezed her own, calloused hand.

She glanced back up at the stars, and Marisa could see a faint blush on her face, not unlike her own.

Maybe they were both sick.

 

//

 

Things were better after that. Whenever she saw Tethys together with Gerik, she thought of the night they had shared together, when Tethys had told her her thoughts and when they had stood there, together, just enjoying each other's presence while the stars were watching over them.

It seemed like they were more together, too. Marisa felt a bit more comfortable talking to Tethys now, but still kept her deepest thoughts to herself. Maybe she'd tell them, one day, when she was sure that Tethys wouldn't be scared away by them.

Until then, this was fine.

 

//

 

It seemed like she was the only one who was fine with it.

Tethys seemed… sad. Marisa still enjoyed talking with her, and Tethys seemed to enjoy it, too, but she often wore a sad smile. Marisa had noticed that sometimes, when they were both giggling about something silly, Tethys would reach out a hand to hers, rethink and quickly pull back, with a pained smile on her face.

Marisa had asked her what was wrong, when it happened again. Tethys had quickly said “nothing”, told Marisa about some task she had to do and left, leaving Marisa alone and confused.

 

//

 

“Did I do something wrong?” Marisa asked Joshua, after she told him everything that had happened, including the night they had shared under the stars.

“Oh. My. GOD.” He groaned, raising his arms and head at the sky. “You can't be serious, Marisa!”

Marisa didn't like it when people used that tone on her, but Joshua was a valuable sparring partner and the only one in the army who she felt like she could tell everything, so she let it slide.

“Have you ever stopped to think about how Tethys felt?”

“...What do you mean?”

“Oh my god.” Joshua dropped his face in his hands. “Oh my god. How can you both be this stupid.”

“Both…?”

Joshua raised his head to look at Marisa, hands still on his face. “Listen. Maris. Trust me when I say that Tethys feels exactly how you feel.”

“What do you mean?”

“She's in love with you, too.”

 

//

 

You only had one chance at life, which is why you have to live life to the fullest. Tethys knew this, too, because it was Tethys who made her realise this.

So, really, if she were to pull Tethys away just to tell her exactly how she felt about her, Tethys should understand.

 

//

 

But as always, her plans were easier in theory.

She couldn't find an opportunity to talk to Tethys one-on-one, without anyone being there to prevent her from speaking from her heart. It was frustrating, and Marisa couldn't help but walk around with a glare for the entire day.

“Hey,” Gerik said, when Marisa was pacing around for the umpteenth time because she was frustrated and had nothing better to do, “A little fairy told me that you should go outside tonight when everyone else has retreated to the tents. Just trust me,” he added, when he saw Marisa’s deathglare.

When Gerik left, Marisa caught him winking. When she looked in the direction he was winking at, she saw a flash of red hair hide behind a tent.

They weren't really subtle, but whatever. Orders were orders.

 

//

 

When she went outside that night and saw Tethys standing on the same spot as where they had stood together a few nights ago, she silently thanked Joshua. Now it was up to her to not ruin the opportunity he had given her.

“Oh, hey,” Tethys said, looking confused. She had a small blanket draped over her shoulders against the cold and was clutching it with one hand. “You… huh?”

Marisa felt like running until she collapsed, but she didn't, because she didn't want to disappoint Joshua and if she couldn't say what she wanted to say now then when could she ever? “Tethys. I have something I need to tell you.”

Despite the tension, Tethys still smiled. “I’m all ears.”

Marisa took a deep breath. They were alone and she had Tethys’ attention. She could either better or ruin their relationship, but she needed to get this out.

“You make me sick.”

Tethys snorted. For a moment, it was dead quiet. And then Marisa panicked.

“Oh, god. That is not what I meant, not at all. Not in that context. I'm sorry.”

“Then what  _ did _ you mean?” Tethys asked, and Marisa could hear in the tone of her voice that she was hurt and it sounded awful and it made her feel awful.

“I mean literal sick, as in, my face gets hot and I feel weird and my palms get sweaty whenever I think of you or am with you.” In fact, it was happening now, too. She could feel her cheeks get incredibly hot and she hoped Tethys couldn't see it in the dark of the night.

“My heart starts beating really fast, too.” She grabbed Tethys’ free arm and put her hand against her chest. “Here, do you feel that?”

The sickness Marisa had must be contagious, because just like the other night, Tethys’ face was getting flushed too.

“...Is the weird feeling a bad kind of feeling?” Tethys asked, hand still on her chest.

“Not really. It’s annoying because it makes me look weak and I can't concentrate because of it, but I like it because that means I am either with you or thinking of you, and I like that.” Now that she had started talking she couldn't be stopped. Only after she had spilled her thoughts she realised what she had said, and she wished she could suck her  words back up but it was too late already.

“You… like thinking about me?” Tethys’ voice had taken on a new tone, a softer one that sounded more vulnerable. She removed her hand from Marisa’s chest and took Marisa’s hand in hers instead. It was like she was urging Marisa to continue on.

So she did.

“I remember the first time I saw you. I was fighting for the enemy, but I remember thinking, ‘wow, she's gorgeous’. I watched your dances instead of the battlefield. I think your dances put a spell on me that makes me sick everytime I see you.”

Marisa snorted, because what she just said sounded absolutely ridiculous, but Tethys squeezed her hand in a reassuring way, so she continued.

“Everything you do is amazing. You're strong and kind and I admire you so much. I wanted to tell you this earlier, but I couldn't.” She looked at the ground. “Joshua said I'm jealous.”

“Jealous?” Marisa could hear Tethys swallow. “Of what?”

“Of Gerik. You and him seem so close together and I want that, too. I feel bad whenever I see you two.” 

Tethys removed her other hand from the cloth wrapped over her clothes to lift up Marisa’s chin. They were face to face now, and Marisa could see Tethys’ smile. A soft, genuine one. Marisa had missed it.

“Joshua told me to talk to you about it, and I probably should have. It would've saved a lot of trouble.”

Marisa was quiet after that. She scanned Tethys’ face, looking for any kind of disgust or rejection, but all she saw was happiness and affection. 

“Marisa?”

“Y-Yes…?”

“You told me… That we only have one chance at life. Which is why I think we have to live life to the fullest.” Tethys’ hand moved away from her chin to move a strand of her hair out of Marisa’s face. Her hand lingered on her cheek. “Do you still agree with that?” 

“...Yes. In fact… it's why I dared to tell you all this.”

That made Tethys’ eyes light up. “Then… Don't blame me for this.”

The stars watched over them as Tethys pulled in closer and kissed her.

 

//

 

Joshua and Gerik had set them up.

Marisa had realised that when Gerik came to her and told her to go outside that night, but apparently they had known they liked each other for much longer. Tethys told Gerik everything, much like Marisa told Joshua her thoughts. It didn't take long for them to put two and two together, and so they tried everything to get Marisa and Tethys together.

Marisa didn't like that Joshua told Gerik about her deepest thoughts, but in the end it was okay, because Joshua did it for her and she now knew that Gerik had a boyfriend. And above all, she got to call Tethys her  _ girlfriend _ .

So the ‘sickness’ was actually ‘lovesickness’. Joshua had been right about that. Joshua had been right about everything. She knew she could trust him.

She wasn't jealous anymore, though, because she was the only one who got to kiss Tethys. She wasn't the only one who could hold her hand, but telling Ewan to fuck off seemed a bit too harsh. Besides, she didn't mind it, especially not now that Ewan felt a bit like her little brother too.

Marisa still felt warm whenever she was with Tethys, but it was a nice kind of warmth, one that felt soothing. She had asked Tethys once if she felt that too, when she was braiding Tethys hair, and Tethys had turned around to kiss her. Marisa messed up Tethys’ half-done braid in the progress, but that was alright, because she liked braiding Tethys’ hair.

They slept in the same tent now too, on the same mattress. “To share body heat,” Tethys had explained to a smug Gerik. It was a good excuse, because Tethys got cold easily and Marisa was like a heater according to her, but it was still an excuse.

 

//

 

“What are you thinking about?” Tethys had asked one night, when Marisa couldn't fall asleep. Marisa didn't know how Tethys could have known she wasn't asleep, because Marisa doesn't shift no matter if she's awake or asleep, but Tethys seemed to know her better than she knew herself.

“Do you remember the night when you asked me if I wanted to be reborn as someone else?”

“Of course.” Tethys had a fond smile on her face. “The stars were beautiful that night.”

“You told me we will get good things and then better things. ...I don't think that's true.”

Tethys’ expression changed to a frown. “Why not?”

Marisa used to think life was all about surviving. Now, she knew better. “Because… I don't think it can get any better than this.”

No matter how many times they had kissed before, every time felt like their first.


End file.
